Tuesday, 27 October 2009

What a doll!

Hearing of the new Barbie "Ladies Of the 80s" range I couldn't help but go and investigate. The Blondie doll really doesn't hit the spot, but the Cyndi Lauper one is verrrry cool:

While checking it out I saw what has become of poor Ken these days. He's now a Donald Trump bewigged sugar daddy with a poodle and outfits made out of furniture:

I blame the fact that he's now started hanging out with Gela and Pamela from the evil velour tracksuit manufacturers Juicy Couture. Their dolls come complete with defaced portrait of my idol, my Queen, Elizabeth Tudor. As if velour tracksuit selling dolls complete with dead-animal accessories couldn't incite my displeasure enough.

Also fell across a super scary non-Barbie issue doll of Luscious Lucius Malfoy from Harry Potter. As it's based on the incredibly dishy Jason Isaacs it should look like this:

But for some unknown reason it looks like this:

*shivers* So, as far as celebrity dolls go I say go for the utterly beautiful Franklin Mint Marilyn Monroe (which is the only doll I have but sadly only with the red sparkle and pink dresses from Gentlemen Prefer Blondes) or for this ultra sweet rock'n'roll pairing:

Or the ultra fab Roman Holiday doll from the Pullip range:

If I were a little girl now I'd be going crazy for the Korean Pullip dolls. They totally rock. I would have chosen this one as little girl me:

And I'd have then bought it a boy toy. Being unconventional as I am (I was utterly disgusted with the one male doll given to me for my many Sindys and Barbies - overly tanned, overly normal-formal Pilot Ken. Yuck.) I'd no doubt choose this one. Yes it's a boy doll, and ohmygod if it isn't the doll form of Nick Rhodes:

I'd buy it the Westwood-esque bondage trousers from the girl doll range as well as these outfits for gigging in:

OMG, doll with a ruff! :D I could then buy it a proper girlfriend in the form of Barbie-Meredith, both modern and 1950s versions:

Barbie Meredith would then have to wear the outfit my own childhood Perfume Pretty Barbie had because it somewhat resembles Mr Rhodes' lovely ex-wife's wedding dress:

(poor Barbie had been kidnapped by the doll form of Warren Cuccurullo in that picture so that he could take her home and have his wicked... um, tea party with her)
...meanwhile, seeing as the Durans are getting all the girls, Ken dresses up for an audition with Spandau Ballet:

I'll stop messing about now. The dolls I kept falling across while looking for the 80s Barbies were just too hilariously Duranned not to share. ...and for those who will mourn the loss of the Juicy dolls when I am Queen of the universe and ban them, fear not for Pullip have made a sort of Gela doll too which kind of rocks:


  1. This entire post made me roar with much needed laughter. I particularly love the Nickerless dolls....

    My favourite Barbie dress, in retrospect, is the pink ballgown my mum knitted for her. Quite the fashion maverick, my mum, a knitted ballgown? Whatever next!

  2. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.