Rock Couture vs Juicy Couture

This review of the newest Juicy perfume is just too funny, words and video:
Juicy Couture Couture Couture

I have realised that maybe I have to cut JC a teensy bit of slack in that it's not designed for me, it's designed for spoilt squealing American teenage girls. Smashing Grandpa is for me. It's designed for for spoilt shrieking rock'n'roll women of decadent tendancies. Juicy is for the teens who don't have an edge yet and I pray that they will grow up and discover true rock'n'roll and also learn that drawing graffiti on portraits of Queen Elizabeth I is just plain WRONG!

Alas Smashing Grandpa is worn by "Posh Spice" who I have always been growly about for not actually being the slightest bit posh. And I'm still mourning their loss of Leslie Gardner and searching in vain for an alternative "slogan tee" outlet.

Gardner's new stuff for One World still has the beautiful shapes but the edge and wit has gone to be replaced by mumsy floweriness. Nauseated. :( I suppose she's just grown up. I refuse to grow up and still want clothes designed by the Westwood adoring designer for New York's glam rock scene who read Miss Pamela's groupie memoir and moved to California "to meet bands" and started the Smashing Grandpa line while she was there. Alas One World Apparel just pales into insignificance.

And yes, I've already tried the JCDC tees with the cute drumkit logo on the back... and I'm bored already. Smashing Granpa did wit, beauty, decadent elegance and rock'n'roll ege all in one. And the shirts often had puffed sleeves, and subtle naughtiness that I could wear in front of my dad without him noticing. I mourn them heavily.

The stupid fur wearing Olsen Twins have moved seamlessly from Smashing Grandpa to Juicy Couture, growing out of edge and into fluff. Surely that's backwards. Are they getting younger as they get older?

I wonder if I'm one of Smashing Grandpa's most devoted followers? Anyone who's seen into my vast t-shirt drawer would certainly testify that I'm a contender. For those who haven't, here's a bit of an idea.

Here I am with the lovely Chloe (lead singer of The Handcuffs, check them out, they ROCK) in one of my many Smashing Grandpa jackets. They're uber comfy, have puffed sleeves, are flatteringly corset shaped for girlies like myself who have curves (how difficult is it to design clothing for women with a waistline vastly smaller than their hips, bum and chest, I mean really?! Come on fashion designers, get with it!) and they have fab things on the back of them. My two pink ones (yes, two) have butterflies on the back. They're not the same. One butterfly is blue, the other is black. Trust me, I needed both. I wear them a lot. One day I will have worn them all out and I shall cry. I also have them in black, olive, green, purple and possibly some other colours that I've forgotten about. The others have art nouveau godesses or rock'n'roll crests on the back. They're lovely. I even used to wear the appropriately coloured ones when working for the National Trust so that I could look lovely in the middle of the woods. Everyone else looked appropriate for being in the middle of the woods. I had pink walking boots, skinny fit jeans and a corset shaped jacket with a goddess on the back of it... and crazy pink eye-make-up. Who says the National Trust is old fashioned?! Ha!

My fellow groupie soul sisters in The BBAs all wear Smashing Grandpa, and Penny raided my stuff when she came to visit so here she is in a few more of mine:

As a side note she also looked totally gorgeous in some of my Dollyrockers collection:
The lace dress looked so stunning on her that I sent her home with it.

BBAs obviously favour the line Leslie Gardner launched inspired by Miss Pamela, so here's just a teeny tiny few of those from my collection:

Admittedly, it looks sooo much better on John Taylor, but then it would. ;) He's also cheating by accessorising with a Miss Pamela. And fnally a rare one.. of me and my daddy. I'm wearing the fab "Dancing with tears in my eyes" shirt which is probably my most worn Smashing Grandpa shirt.

Mother took the picture. She went to sit comfortably in one of the carriages while we jumped in the front to got over excited about all the controls and the fire and everything, breathing in vast lungfulls of joyous sooty, oily smoke. Dad and I like steam trains. Deal with it.

Daddy has also built himself a miniature steam engine. It works and everything, I'm so proud. I did paint a picture of him with his steam engine but he took it home before I could take a photo of it. At least he likes it I guess. Anyway, he's almost finished with his scary miniature steam lorry and the matching trailer, so I live in anticipation of more pics of his finished work.

What a doll!

Hearing of the new Barbie "Ladies Of the 80s" range I couldn't help but go and investigate. The Blondie doll really doesn't hit the spot, but the Cyndi Lauper one is verrrry cool:

While checking it out I saw what has become of poor Ken these days. He's now a Donald Trump bewigged sugar daddy with a poodle and outfits made out of furniture:

I blame the fact that he's now started hanging out with Gela and Pamela from the evil velour tracksuit manufacturers Juicy Couture. Their dolls come complete with defaced portrait of my idol, my Queen, Elizabeth Tudor. As if velour tracksuit selling dolls complete with dead-animal accessories couldn't incite my displeasure enough.

Also fell across a super scary non-Barbie issue doll of Luscious Lucius Malfoy from Harry Potter. As it's based on the incredibly dishy Jason Isaacs it should look like this:

But for some unknown reason it looks like this:

*shivers* So, as far as celebrity dolls go I say go for the utterly beautiful Franklin Mint Marilyn Monroe (which is the only doll I have but sadly only with the red sparkle and pink dresses from Gentlemen Prefer Blondes) or for this ultra sweet rock'n'roll pairing:

Or the ultra fab Roman Holiday doll from the Pullip range:


If I were a little girl now I'd be going crazy for the Korean Pullip dolls. They totally rock. I would have chosen this one as little girl me:

And I'd have then bought it a boy toy. Being unconventional as I am (I was utterly disgusted with the one male doll given to me for my many Sindys and Barbies - overly tanned, overly normal-formal Pilot Ken. Yuck.) I'd no doubt choose this one. Yes it's a boy doll, and ohmygod if it isn't the doll form of Nick Rhodes:

I'd buy it the Westwood-esque bondage trousers from the girl doll range as well as these outfits for gigging in:


OMG, doll with a ruff! :D I could then buy it a proper girlfriend in the form of Barbie-Meredith, both modern and 1950s versions:


Barbie Meredith would then have to wear the outfit my own childhood Perfume Pretty Barbie had because it somewhat resembles Mr Rhodes' lovely ex-wife's wedding dress:


(poor Barbie had been kidnapped by the doll form of Warren Cuccurullo in that picture so that he could take her home and have his wicked... um, tea party with her)
...meanwhile, seeing as the Durans are getting all the girls, Ken dresses up for an audition with Spandau Ballet:


I'll stop messing about now. The dolls I kept falling across while looking for the 80s Barbies were just too hilariously Duranned not to share. ...and for those who will mourn the loss of the Juicy dolls when I am Queen of the universe and ban them, fear not for Pullip have made a sort of Gela doll too which kind of rocks:

so easy to disturb with a thought, with a whisper

I have to share this as even my dear Charley has missed it.

The YLB range from Wallis (which I desperately need to go immerse myself in when I can get out of the north and actually try things on rather than just admiring in pictures) features one outfit in which it's creator has immitated her darling husband's early days in a most elegant fashion.

Image courtesy of the phenomenal Unofficial Yasmin site YasminLeBon.net which is well worth a lengthy visit to trawl all the fabulous images and articles.

Duran video most certainly not courtesy of Mr Rhodes who hates the picture on the wall in the video so violentely that he tries to keep the video off as many official releases as is humanly possible. I think the only time it "escaped" was on their first VHS compilation where he didn't have enough other videos to use to oust it entirely.

Phenomenal fashion courtesy of YLB for Wallis but hands off the red velvet suit in my size cos I neeeeeeeed it!

Original early 1980s Duran outfits by Kahn & Bell... hands off those in my size too, LOL!